Friday, January 26, 2007

steak, cake, mistake

In my defense, Mary’s handwriting is at best barely coherent, at worst indecipherable. Whenever she leaves me a list, it is always a guessing game as to what she actually intends. Over the years I have become reasonably adept at figuring out what she has scratched on the paper, but sometimes even my best guess is far from correct. When possible I ask for an interpretation if she is aviailable to give one. Other times I am left to decode the hieroglyhics as best I can.

Today when I went to the supermarket to do the weekly food shopping I had in hand the list she had made out the night before. I’ll admit I should have reviewed the list with her, knowing how much trouble I’ve had in the past, but I didn’t, so sue me. I get to the store and think as I look at the list, ok that makes sense,”fine cabernet and steak.” I’m thinking that will make a nice birthday dinner for me. So I pick out a nice bottle and a couple of ribeyes and start looking forward to my birthday dinner.

When she got home this afternoon she asks if I got everything on the list and I proudly explain that I did indeed. As she usually does, since she doesn’t trust me, she starts going down the list from memory and when she gets to the birthday cake I start to break out in a cold sweat of dread, somehow knowing that I have screwed up again.
Apparently the list said “find a birthday cake. “ I told you her handwriting was terrible.

How was I supposed to know that I was expected to buy my own birthday cake? I don’t even like cake that much. Certainly not as much as a good steak and a glass of wine. So maybe my subconscious was at work, substituting what I really wanted.
I suggested that we stick a candle in the steak while she toasts my birthday with that fine cabernet I selected.

Luckily she forgave me (without admitting any fault of her own for sending me to the store with an unreadable list) and went out and selected a cake for me. So now we have the best of all possible worlds---steak, wine, and cake. What more could a guy ask for?

9 comments:

Kim said...

sex. you should ask for sex. Any man who will go do the shopping without a gun to his head deserves a lot of sex.

Tell your wife I said so, I'm an authority.

Happy Birthday!

Kat Campbell said...

LOL, that's funny Bob! Happy Birthday in case I don't make it here on the actual day!

Gary said...

It's a good thing she went to get cake. It is pretty hard to stick birthday candles in a ribeye. :)

alwaysvictoria said...

Ahhh handwriting, once upon a time mine was beautiful now it is hen scratching.
Her is hoping your B-day will be very special. I have been lurking around here but not commenting. I wanted to make certain I did stop by to wish you the best on your special day.
I hope you do not mind that I have linked you, if so just let me know and I will remove your link.

Sunflower Optimism said...

Today must be the day. Happy birthday Bob! Wishing you good health and much joy this year :-)

Wiccachicky said...

I'd take a glass of cab and a good steak over cake any day! :o)

Bud said...

That worked out perfectly! Happy Birthday, Bob!

Battlerocker said...

Happy Birthday!

I think this one worked out for the best. I'll take Cabernet and steak over cake any day of the week. Getting a cake besides is just the icing on the...err...you know what I mean.

Jay said...

That's a sweet story.
Happy birthday.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.