Thursday, August 23, 2007


On the drive to our lake cottage here in central Wisconsin today, I came to the realization that there are no bugs in California and way too many here in Wisconsin.

How did I come to this conclusion, you ask. Simple observation.

For the two weeks we spent in California driving all over the place, over a thousand miles worth, not once did we encounter a bug slamming into our windshield. Not a one. Nada. Not even a glancing blow. So there are two possible explanations. Either there are no bugs in California or the ones that are there are smart enough to avoid a speeding windshield.

Conversely, in the two hours it took to drive here today, the windshield on the van resembled a Jackson Pollack splatter made of the mashed mucous of innumerable smashed and slaughtered bugs. Again there are two possible explanations. Either all the bugs that should be in California have migrated to Wisconsin looking for our more congenial climate and there are so many of them that they can’t get out of the way of that speeding windshield, or Wisconsin bugs are too stupid to avoid that same windshield.

The net result of course is a messy windshield. Could that possibly be another reason to move to California?


Anonymous said...

Too funny :) We have the same bug problem here in Oregon.


Bud said...

Maybe the bugs in Cali are all celebrities and they slide off your windshield . Kind of like sliding out of jail terms.

Josh said...

Hard to find a blog post based on the intelligence of bugs these days. I moved to Arizona (also bug free for the most part) from Iowa (where it's not just the bugs are a bit slow) and I have to say, I miss lightning bugs in particular. So next time your out this way scrape a little glowing spot off your windshield and drop it off for me before the obligatory midwest to southwest car wash. Thanks! :)

Artistic Soul said...

Yuck. Bugs.

Kat said...

Works for me (as a reason to move anyway). Scary thought...perhaps there are no bugs because of some environmental poison that's killed them all.

Anonymous said...

Many California counties spray with malathion and other pesticides. That's why no bugs.

Also in August, no water, no rain, few birds, few bugs.