Thursday, December 06, 2007

gimme mine

You know how some of life’s minor irritations can, over time, fester and become issues and even eventually causes for action? There is an irritation that has bedeviled me for a while now to the point where I have to say something. I give you the yogurt cup.

I like yogurt. Eat it all the time. It is a staple of my lunchtime menu. Yoplait is my brand of choice. And therein lies the rub. Yoplait has seen fit for many years to market their fine product in conical shaped 6 oz. containers that are decidedly unfriendly to your spoon.

So what’s the problem you ask. Well because of the shape of the container, a significant amount of yogurt that should end up on my spoon and then in my mouth, is left to fill the many crevices and nooks of the container. By not being able to scour the last remaining remnants of yogurt out of the cup, I’m not getting all that I paid for. I’ve gone so far as to measure (approximately, sure, but close enough that the government would accept my findings) what remains in the yogurt cup after my best efforts at removal.

I came up with a generous teaspoon full per week of wasted yogurt. That’s 52 teaspoons per year. That comes to approximately one cup per year of yogurt that I paid for and had to waste because of poor packaging (plus or minus a factor for my admitted unscientific measuring). I’ve been eating yogurt as a constant staple of my daily lunches for easily 20 years now, maybe longer. But for the sake of argument, let’s peg it at a mere twenty. That would give me twenty cups of unconsumed yogurt that has languished, unreached by my spoon, in the recesses of that lousy container. Twenty cups is four cups more than a gallon. That’s a lot of product that the purveyors of Yoplait yogurt owe me.

At the risk of sounding unnecessarily petulant about all this, I think the Bureau of Standards and Practices, or whoever is in charge of yogurt packaging should start an investigation and expose those fraudulent marketing practices used by companies that don’t deliver all they claim. If the container says that I should enjoy 6 ozs of yogurt, then I should be able to extract that full amount from the package.

Over the years I’ve gotten cheated and I’m not going to tolerate it any longer. This minor irritation has festered long enough. It’s time for action. I may have to switch allegiances to Dannon or, God forbid, some off brand at the discount store. It’s time I got my full complement of yogurt for lunch and eliminated the cause of all my angst.

PS. Dear Yoplait, I am particularly fond of Blueberry if you decide to make good.

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