Monday, April 13, 2015

much ado



It didn't cost much, but that isn't why we bought it. It was just a thing that would add a little bit of convenience to the TV room. But no one told me it would be such a problem installing it. They never warn you about the difficulty you can expect when you naively buy something you have
every reason to believe will be a snap to set up. 
If you're a carpenter you know the old adage: 
Measure twice, cut once. If you're not a carpenter, the meaning will be the same no matter what your line of work: prepare properly and every thing will turn out properly. So as I prepared to drill the first hole, I hesitated for a second and then, just to be sure, I measured once more. Now you're expecting me to say I almost screwed up, but, no, I had measured the position of the hole properly and was right on.
Hole? Why was I going to drill a hole? You know those wires that come out of electrical appliances with the three pronged plug-in thingy at the end? I figured that it would look neater if that plug-in thingy coming out of the back of the little new microwave we decided we needed when we saw it in the store, would be out of sight so as not to look messy on the shelf it sits on. To accomplish this neat look, I determined that what I really needed was two holes. 
You see, the new little microwave sits on a shelf that is raised 4" from the top of the counter. That 4" is hollow space that the plug (that's the abbreviated version of plug-in thingy) must pass through to complete the installation of our new little microwave. Two holes means twice the preparation; measuring 4 times to cut, or in this case, drill, twice. Now this is getting complicated. 
Luckily I have easy access to the underside of the counter where the second hole would be located.
The little refrigerator that occupies the space is easily removed, allowing me to take its place.
So I was all set. Then the fun began. What I failed to realize was that the support of the shelf that the microwave would sit on was a 2x4 that,of course, sat right where the hole would be drilled. In moving the location of the hole to accommodate that 2x4 I broke the "measure twice, cut once" rule in favor of expediency. I assumed I could guess closely enough to get away with it. Such arrogance is rarely rewarded.
It will usually drive you deeper into the hole you've dug for yourself. The hole I drilled was to the side of the 2x4. The wrong side. The hole drilled from the underside was on the other side of the 2x4. They did not line up, which made feeding the wire through them an irritating and frustrating task. I spent an inordinate amount of time getting that wire in place. For some reason the gods of DIY were out to get me. By the time I finished pulling that wire I had jammed myself into that space under the counter in contortions that would do the Rubberbandman proud. And to top it off, the wire was too short to reach the outlet. An extension cord fixed that, but it was another instance mismeasurement. 
I manage to turn a simple plug-in into a 40 minute ordeal fueled by ineptitude. One thing learned, I will never buy another microwave.

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