The other evening we were just relaxing, watching some nonsense on TV when Mary said, “You know they are not together anymore.”
Her conversation can leave me bewildered at times because her segues, or lack of same, don’t always register as the words pass through my brain scanning synapses.
I glanced up, first at her to make sure she had actually spoken to me (I have very selective hearing), and then up at the TV to confirm in my mind that the comment she just made was rooted in what was happening there.
“You know they were never really ‘together.’ She was always more into him than he was into her.” I responded with little enthusiasm. I’m not one to analyze and critisize anyone else’s life choices.
“No you’re wrong.” I must have pushed her fight mode button because she was suddenly all combative over this trivial matter. “She always loved him and he was a jerk for trying to avoid her.”
“So you admit that they were never a couple because he was always trying to stay out of her clutches.”
“Well they would have been a very happy couple if he had only cooperated.” She could sense the argument tilting in my direction. I delivered the coup de gras by pointing out to her that they were not real.
“You know, of course, that they are puppets, don’t you?” I twisted the knife just a bit by adding that he had once been someone’s green sock and she was a concoction of pink foam rubber.
“Are the Brewers playing?” She asked as a way of confusing me and thus claiming victory in our little skirmish. Remember what I said about her segues. Mary considers any argument won if she can change the subject on the fly, leaving me scratching my head, wondering how we got to this point.
I was left with the realization that we are really pathetic, relying on the love life of a couple of Muppets for conversation.