I have a wife who is everything a good wife should be. She takes wonderful care of me, even when she is pissed off at me for some imagined problem that she assumes is all my fault. In fact now that I think about it, I get blamed for everything that goes wrong around here. Blaming me is her default setting when there is blame to be administered. I know she loves me because she repeatedly tells me so. Many times each day she will preface her remarks to me by telling me "Bob, I love you dearly." It's when she gets past that preface that the real reason she wants to talk to me becomes clear. After saying "I love you dearly," she always follows up with a BUT phrase that tells what is really on her mind. As in "Bob I love you dearly, BUT you are an idiot."
Or she will say, "BUT you are so stupid."
Or, BUT you drive me crazy."
......BUT you never do what you're told.
......BUT I can't count on you for anything.
......BUT you never follow directions.
......BUT you can be such a slob
......BUT you always ignore the list of things I want you to do
......BUT you never turn off the lights when you leave the room
......BUT you are so inefficient
......BUT you are a lousy shopper
......BUT you don't know your limits
......BUT you always forget a towel or two when you do the laundry
......BUT you always manage to do only 90% of the task at hand.
......BUT you always make such a mess when you are cooking.
......BUT you always make too much noise when I am trying to take a nap
......BUT you never put your clothes away.
......BUT you always grab the last cookie.
......BUT you never vacuum under the furniture.
......BUT you always disappear in the store when we are shopping
......BUT you always find a bunch of things to buy when you sneak away from me in the store.
......BUT you never need the stuff you insist on buying
......BUT you are so full of shit.
But you get the idea. I could probably go on and on finding and listing all my transgressions, faults, proclivities, idiosyncrasies, and peccadilloes and they would all be true. My wonderful wife is absolutely justified in her criticisms because she is right. I am guilty on all counts.
But that's me. It tells a lot about her character and loving nature that she is willing to spend so much time and effort helping me to become a better man.
BUT for me to become all the man she wants me to be, I will have to first learn to listen to her when she is talking to me.